Meditations - week 4
Loving I looking at Presence: My Presence is dressed comfortably. She looks attractive but a little frumpy, a little overweight and out of shape physically. Overweight and under-exercised. She seems excited and willing, but a little concerned. I sense some self doubt about her and impatience with herself “getting the learning”. She seems really sweet and has a wonderful smile. Although I see some self doubt in her eyes, she sends love easily and I can tell the love is really there for her.
The positive aspects I observed: __ Loving, sweet, and smart, able to send love truly, she is attractive and able to dress and do things for her comfort, not just to please others or live by their standards.___
The negative aspects I observed: ___ some self doubt and concern over ability to do ‘this’ = purpose lurking under the surface, as well as some impatience.____
I feel my Presence is: __ Presence is in general ok, but somewhat dissatisfied with her physical health and her dedication to keeping her body healthy, well, she seems dissatisfied with her dedication in general.__
The first thing my “Loving “I” is going to help my Presence with is: ___ give her loving support to follow through on the guidance she’s been given for her life on her path, help her feel love and caring for herself so she will want to ‘take care’ of herself with her daily practices.______
The written assignment is twofold:
- “Be awake and aware…of great experiences…” I didn’t remember some days to say it was a great day as I awoke, but I managed to say it at some point during the day. I noticed a lot of great experiences each day, some of them even look small and insignificant at first glance, but they were Great nonetheless. This was kinda fun, noticing all the Great Experiences in my day.
- “Feelings about Presence and how Loving I helped…” I did notice that although I generally felt pretty good about my Presence, the creativity and generosity, I did notice some laziness and lack of motivation during this time. My Loving I helped my feel good about myself and my situation. In moments where I felt unwarranted guilt, she helped me let it go and realize what I was doing and to feel love for myself. She was close and as I did RoHun Sessions, she supported me and helped me maintain the loving energy. I felt calmer this week and more at peace with myself and I think this was her influence.
Day 1
I find the Mother waiting for me. She looks deeply into my eyes and I can see her eyes. She sends me love, and I send her love, and it feels really good. It is a whole body experience… She reaches down by her feet and picks up a soft cloth bag and puts it on her lap. She puts both her hands in this bag and lifts out a beautiful diamond. Its facets are amazing and there is so much light in it. She holds it out to me and I take it in my hands. I can feel its shape and at first it is cool, but as the sun shines into it it warms up. It feels warm in my hands. The facets are so big I can almost see reflections of myself as I look into it. She says this is who you truly are. You hold in your hands a solid form of the light that is you, that is why you can almost see yourself in it. Because you are very close to being able to ‘see’ who you truly are. These words just fill me… and I feel it strongly and my eyes leak. Even if my mind doesn’t completely grasp the full impact, my body knows it. I thank her with all my heart. She feels my gratitude because she knows my true heart. I ask her what I am supposed to do with it, how will it help me? “Carry it with you always. Carry it right next to your heart. It will be a lens, both for what comes into you and what goes out of you into the world. Its clarity and perfection will allow you to see with clarity and the perfection of love. Both what you are putting out and what you are receiving.” Again my body gets a rush from this information and I feel full.
Now she takes my hand and we walk in the meadow in the sun. I ask her what do I do now, what’s next? She tells me to go back and extract the advice that I got from my meditations before and make a list. I will see how a plan of action for me is in that list. She tells me to relax, that I have to learn to walk before I can run and I keep trying to run before I know how. She tells me my impatience is not exactly a virtue. She says this with a chuckle and a smile and lovingly. She says “There is oneness in you and sometimes you let yourself feel it. That is part of your gift of empathy, your sensitivity that lets you be part of the oneness.” She continues talking to me about how I spent so many years without understanding it that I created habit patterns of running away from it and not embracing it. I must embrace it with clarity, with devotion, with my knowledge now of what is and is not mine. I am not a victim anymore, buffeted here and there by what comes into me. I now can filter it effectively and respond accordingly by sending love and light were I sense negative emotions. This is also part the gift of the diamond.
We lay in the warm grass in the meadow, looking at sun and the clouds, holding hands. I feel very happy, I feel a sense of joy well up in me. I get up and start laughing and running and twirling and swirling and playing in the meadow. I am in just happy abandon. I am going around in circles around her where she sits watching me with a smile on her face. When I stop and come back to her she stands up and stands behind me and puts her arms around me, holding me as I lean back against her. She is very tall and my head is on her shoulder and we stand and watch the sunset together.
Day 2
The meadow with the tree has been with me for a very long time. At first it was just the meadow. In a special meditation one day the tree appeared then more recently the bench appeared under the tree. I could feel and smell the bark of the tree and feel the cement of the bench. Today the bench changed into cool white marble, beautifully carved. It is very nice.
Buddha is waiting for me, laughing. He looks kinda Middle Eastern. He tells me “Sit, sit.” So I sit on the beautiful cool marble bench. At first I think he is sitting on a very high stack of pillows because he is lotus position and our eyes are level. Then I realize he is sitting on one cushion, floating in mid-air. I feel some amusement at this, I think partly because he obviously does. As I am looking into his lovely brown eyes and feeling love, he tells me to remember my most recent RoHun Client and tell him what happened there in that room with her. I told him I helped her go inside and touch and connect with and clear the things that were blocking her. He said “Yes. Now when is the last time you did that for yourself?” I had to admit it has been a while because there has been so much happening that it gets put aside. He tells me that although every day would be nice, but I should have a commitment to myself to at least once a week do RoHun processes and 7 visions meditation. I should meditate a little every day, but be careful of my goals and my commitments and be sure they are realistic.
He says I have a gift for you. He reaches into a little pouch at his belt and pulls out a gem the size of my fist. It is a garnet or ruby, a beautiful deep clear red. He hands it to me and I feel it in my hand. I cup it in my two hands. I ask him what does the gem mean and what am I to use it for. He says “That is the natural state of your Root. Now breathe on it so that your breath clouds the surface.” I did and saw that now it was cloudy, not clear and you couldn’t really see the light in it. He says “That is your Root chakra for most of every day. When you meditate spend some time visualizing your Root chakra as having this clear, sparkly, beautiful red quality that this gem has. This gem is an example of what to aim for; this is what you should see there. This gem has that highest vibration in it; I am giving you this vibration.” I am to hold it in my hands in my lap at my Root and meditate on the sparkly red light, just looking at it, nothing more demanding than that. I clearly see this beautiful sparkling gem in my Root chakra, and hold it there. I thank him. I put the gem in a pouch that appears hanging from my waist and it hangs right at my Root chakra. Then he takes my hands and we sit, knee to knee, eye to eye. As we sit we have this circular energetic connection thing going: I breathe in his love and light through my eyes and breathe out my love and light to him through my Heart and he sends through his eyes and receives through his Heart. There is a little filter/lens between my eyes and my Heart. Whatever I breathe in through my eyes must pass through this filter/lens to be sent out through my Heart. When what I take in with my eyes is of the light, of love and goodness, the filter becomes transparent to it. If what I take in through my eyes is negative or hurtful, then the filter/lens changes and as those things pass through this filter, they are transformed into love and light and I send them out my Heart… Right back to their source/origin. This feels really beautiful. He is teaching me a technique I need to use in my life. This filter is in my High Heart, it is my High Heart that does the filtering.
What else do I need to know? He says “Be strong. You are destined to do great things. Even though some of those great things may not look like what your culture teaches you great things should look like. Just know that as you do everything you do for God, everything you do is a great thing and is to be honored.” I feel very moved and I just sit for a long time feeling the power of this very simple statement.
Day 3
Buddha is waiting for me, I kind of expected the Mother, but it is Buddha. He looks like the Dalai Lama, probably because I just read an article about him. He looks so happy, I can’t help but smile and I feel a giggle welling up inside me. As he looks at me I feel his love and his compassion. He says “I am here today to tell you about Love in Action.” I send him my love and compassion and respect. There is such a strong undercurrent of joy with him it is almost like the feeling of being a little kid. Like at any moment he is going to break out in giggles. I feel it so strongly I almost want to laugh out loud. That energetic feeling of wanting to get up and do something just for the joy of doing it. I hear the words “All I do, I do for God”. Those words become attached to this feeling of joy. He says he has a gift for me. He reaches up into thin air, grabs something, pulls it down and holds it out in his hands. I look at it and I see a pen. It is kind of a combination modern pen with a quill pen with a big fluffy white feather. I take the pen and put it behind my ear. I say ok, I accept. What does this gift mean and what am I to do with it? He says “your channeling is very strong and clear. The things you get are very important for your enlightenment.” Every day I am to channel with writing, even if it is only one sentence. Every single day I am to channel and not let that avenue within me close from lack of use. This last was said with some wry amusement from him.
I ask what my purpose is this life: he says I am to spread the knowing that I get. I am to share my channeling with other people. He wants me to use modern technology to ‘spread the word’. He reminds me that I have a Web Log and he wants me to put them there and put a link to them on my web site and I should have an e-mail newsletter. I am getting all this in pictures and I have to translate into words.
I send him thanks with all my heart and ask what more I need to know to help with my enlightenment. He tells me to RoHun my fear. He reaches out and puts his hand on my Heart chakra. I feel him sending love and healing into my Heart chakra. I feel it loosen and relax and expand. He puts his other hand on my Brow chakra with his fingers connecting my brow to my crown. I feel like he is connecting my heart and my mind. I can feel the energy flowing back and forth between his hands, through me. As I look into his eyes I feel like he is talking to my spirit, my higher self, communicating understanding and peace and love. My forehead is getting hot. At this point I realize it is the 8th chakra, between my Brow and Crown, where he has his hand because that is where it is getting hot. We sit like this for a long time. He is smiling and kind of half nodding at me as if to say “Yes, yes…” There are no words, just sensation of flow and of fullness and release (at this point I burped).
Then he sits back, puts his hand in prayer position in front of his face and forehead and bows to me a little, saying Namaste. I return with Namaste. We just sit and look at each other and I feel his presence. I like this feeling a lot. I feel something in me say “Yes! This is what I have been looking for!” I breathe it in deeply.
Day 4
The Mother is here waiting for me. She is dressed like the Catholic Blessed Mother, only the blue is darker. I feel a sense of playfulness and joy and happiness with her. She brushes my hair and I can actually feel the tingles on my scalp as if a brush was passed through my hair. With each stroke, I can feel the gentleness of her touch. When she is done, she braids my hair for me and ties it with a pretty ribbon. She sits down in front of me and as we look into each other’s eyes, I feel relaxed and calm and at peace. I feel her loving me and my Heart chakra feels open and warm. We just sit like this for a while.
She says; “oh yes, I have a gift for you” and laughs. She pulls out this beautiful, silky, cloak-like thing with a hood and it is a beautiful purple with a multicolored, shimmery look to it. It feels wonderful, I can feel the weight of it but it’s not too heavy. She says; “this is the mantle of a master. You will notice it is just a little too big for you, but you are growing into it more every day. Whenever your thoughts turn to self-doubt, close your eyes and feel this mantle on your head and shoulders, feel the soft weight of it, feel the beauty of it”. At the neck is a clasp that looks like a heart, a beautiful ruby shaped like a heart, with silver star-rays radiating out from it’s setting.
We sit down and she is holding my hands, and I ask her; “Mother, what is my purpose in this life?” She says my purpose is to reach my full potential, and manifest the Light in my life and help to show others how to manifest the light in their lives. She is showing a lot of pictures of how this is to done; I see a flash of me in front of a group; in the healing room doing RoHun; at my job… I am there and radiating light like a star. I see myself at the grocery store and the bank and each picture is absolutely worth 1000 words each. Each one shows me the best possible me in any given situation.
She tells me that I am on the right path; I just have to pay attention to how I allow myself to be sidetracked and correct my direction. Now we just sit and I feel her love and we share love back and forth for a long time.
Then we stand up holding hands and the scene changes around us. We are floating through the stars… I can se the Pleiades. I can see galaxies everywhere. It all feels so huge and wonderful. She brings me back down and we are in the meadow again. She reminds me that I am a part of all that is. No matter what other people may say, this is Truth, this is my Truth. I should allow people to have their own limitations but don’t allow them to force them onto me. She wants me to be strong in my knowledge, strong in my faith, and to have courage and determination and devotion. The more I do this, every day, the more whole I will become. Then we just sit together a while.
Day 5
I notice I don’t just walk along the path this time, I am skipping and trotting. I get to the tree and I feel the roughness of the bark and smell the bark and see the patterns of the bark. I sit and feel the cool hardness of the beautiful marble bench, feel its polished smoothness and the beautiful delicacy of the carvings around the edge. I feel the coolness and softness of the grass on the bottoms of my feet. I smell the meadow smells and listen to birds in the trees and the breeze in the tops of the trees.
I look and see Buddha sitting in front of me lotus style so I sit lotus in front of him. I look at him and feel his presence wash over me. I can see the colors of his chakras. They are beautiful and clear. I see and feel as each of his chakras connects to each of mine filling my body with that energy. As I sit in this energy and breath it in, I hear the words in my head; “I Am that I Am… I AM THAT I AM”. I can feel my physical body vibrating. I become aware of my heartbeat, very strong. The energy pulses with my heartbeat. As I look into his eyes I feel the feeling of joy and laughter welling up deep inside me. I am smiling now, my physical self is smiling. Now the lights fade and he looks at me with his head cocked to the side a little bit and looks directly into my eyes. After a few moments, I nod. I am answering an unspoken question. I don’t even know what the question is, but I find myself nodding to him in response, both in the meditation and physically.
He asks me if I am ready for my gift and I say yes, master, I am ready. I feel emotion well up in me as I say those words. He stands up and turns his back to me for a moment. When he turns around he has in his hands he has a sword. When I see it, my eyes overflow and I feel a fullness. There is something about this sword that touches the depths inside of me. The sword is beautiful and looks ornamental. The blade is made of light, so bright and shiny. The hilt perfectly fits my hand and is studded with diamonds, rubies, emeralds, and sapphires, but mostly diamonds. When I hold it though, it is warm and soft and comfortable in my hands. It is a very delicate but strong sword. I look at him questioningly and ask what is this, why do I feel it so strongly? What am I to do with it, how will it help me? He says this is the sword of Truth. It is another Wand of Light, but more… When I hold this up in front of me or visualize it in meditation, if there is anything I am dealing with, this will be able to cut through it and get to the core of the issue. The light of its blade will bring light into any situation.
He takes my hand with the sword in it and lays it against my body and the sword touches each chakra from my root to my crown. He tells me to breathe it in; breathe it in, all the way in. This will help me connect the Kundalini, from my root to the crown, it is my truth. All the diamonds and rubies and gems on the haft are: Devotion, Discernment, Lift and Thrust; the energy of those things for me. They are placed at my root chakra and my spleen chakra. I am to breathe it in and to breathe the light and energy all the way up the blade every day. It rests in front of my spine and Ida and Pingala wrap around it to hold it in place. I can see this as clearly as if it was a movie, and I can FEEL it! He steps back and we bow with hands in prayer position, honoring each other. I feel so honored in this moment, and am very moved. I feel awe and wonder.
I ask; Master, what is my purpose in this lifetime? He tells me to sit and he will tell me and gestures me to sit on my beautiful white bench. As I look around, I notice now that my meadow and tree and bench have become part of the arboretum that is in my temple. Now we are sitting in this new place in my temple with the sun shining down through the glass walls and ceiling. He tells me “You will clear your blocks and then teach others how to clear their blocks. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, your purpose is to be whole and to teach others how to be whole. You will do this through healing and through classes and teachings. Be strong and have an unassailable Faith in, and Knowledge of, your Self.” I feel this, I FEEL it. My Heart chakra feels wide open and very, very warm. I feel the breaths I am taking going in and out of my Heart chakra. The words that I speak resonate in my Heart chakra. My thoughts seem to be coming from there as well.
Now he takes my hand and we walk through the arboretum to stand in front of my altar. This is a beautiful cathedral like space in the side of the mountain with light coming from overhead so that the altar is lit up. It looks like a Catholic sanctuary space, but it isn’t. He shows me where the altar was bare there are now my gifts: my sword, my mantle, the quill pen and the diamond and ruby I was given. On the wall behind the altar is a bas relief of Mary, Jesus, Buddha and
WOW!
Summary
The answers I get to my questions this week seem a little simpler than what I got last week. But what I feel as I am receiving the information is even more intense and very powerful. At one point my eyes were leaking and I got so hot I broke out in a sweat, there was so much energy. I felt like something was happening in all of my fields at once.
The meditations were so engaging that I became totally engrossed in them. When I finished I was always surprised to find I stayed in them longer than ever and it only seemed like a few iminutes.
I would ‘forget’ what was said the day before when I went into meditation, so each one was not ‘colored’ by the day before. As I read over what I have written, I notice that once again I am getting very similar messages each time, with a little more or different information added. This was an amazing experience! Ia know when the time is right for me, I will move to the next level of this study.
Thank you so much, Patricia. I truly enjoyed the experience!
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